Ben & Hannah
Meagan & Aaron
Dave & Janna
I just noticed that I tend to label couples starting with whichever one I know the best! Makes sense I suppose :D
~H.M.
November 26, 2008
Engagement Photos
I have finally landed a couple of my first freelance photography jobs ever! They are small gigs, but they are a start! I want to share a couple of my favorite shots. I hope you enjoy them!
Ben & Hannah
Meagan & Aaron
Dave & Janna
I just noticed that I tend to label couples starting with whichever one I know the best! Makes sense I suppose :D
~H.M.
Ben & Hannah
Meagan & Aaron
Dave & Janna
I just noticed that I tend to label couples starting with whichever one I know the best! Makes sense I suppose :D
~H.M.
November 19, 2008
Reflections from Hosea
I've been reading through the book of Hosea and I am struck by how relevant it is to today. Reading this passage made me think of America and how we have turned away from God:
Hosea 4:1-3
1 Hear the word of the LORD, you Israelites,
because the LORD has a charge to bring
against you who live in the land:
"There is no faithfulness, no love,
no acknowledgment of God in the land.
Reading farther I am touched by the image of God chasing after His people, desiring them to turn back even though they continue to be adulterous.
Hosea 4:16
16 The Israelites are stubborn,
like a stubborn heifer.
How then can the LORD pasture them
like lambs in a meadow?
God wants to provide for us with such tenderness and we just throw His love back in His face.
This part really gets to me, and makes me weep as I grasp the extreme measures taken by God in His desire to have us return to Him.
Hosea 5:12-15
12 I am like a moth to Ephraim,
like rot to the people of Judah.
until they admit their guilt.
And they will seek my face;
in their misery they will earnestly seek me.
And yet, Israel continued to be unfaithful. But at the end God, out of His HOLINESS and in the face of His WRATH chooses to be merciful. Why? I still cannot understand.
Hosea 11:8-9.
8 "How can I give you up, Ephraim?
How can I hand you over, Israel?
How can I treat you like Admah?
How can I make you like Zeboiim?
My heart is changed within me;
all my compassion is aroused.
9 I will not carry out my fierce anger,
nor will I turn and devastate Ephraim.
For I am God, and not man—
the Holy One among you.
I will not come in wrath.
This passage also makes me think of the U.S.
Hosea 13:15-16
15 even though he thrives among his brothers.
An east wind from the LORD will come,
blowing in from the desert;
his spring will fail
and his well dry up.
His storehouse will be plundered
of all its treasures.
Hosea 7:13
13 Woe to them,
because they have strayed from me!
Destruction to them,
because they have rebelled against me!
I long to redeem them
but they speak lies against me.
Hosea 8:7
7 "They sow the wind
and reap the whirlwind.
The stalk has no head;
it will produce no flour.
Were it to yield grain,
foreigners would swallow it up.
Hosea 9:7
7 The days of punishment are coming,
the days of reckoning are at hand.
Let Israel know this.
Because your sins are so many
and your hostility so great,
the prophet is considered a fool,
the inspired man a maniac.
Oh God have mercy on us. Do not destroy the righteous with the unrighteous!
I lost about $4,000 of my mutual fund due to the current economic crisis. I withdrew the remainder out of fear of losing it all. It's strange though, even though I know it's a sizable amount of money, I don't really feel as if my circumstances have changed at all. I am still a child of my Heavenly Father, resting in the shadow of His wing within the comfort of His pasture. I would not exchange this wealth for any of the comforts of the world!
Praise be to God, who loves and has mercy on unworthy sinful man!
~ H.M.
Hosea 4:1-3
1 Hear the word of the LORD, you Israelites,
because the LORD has a charge to bring
against you who live in the land:
"There is no faithfulness, no love,
no acknowledgment of God in the land.
2 There is only cursing, lying and murder,
stealing and adultery;
they break all bounds,
and bloodshed follows bloodshed.
3 Because of this the land mourns,
and all who live in it waste away;
the beasts of the field and the birds of the air
and the fish of the sea are dying.
Reading farther I am touched by the image of God chasing after His people, desiring them to turn back even though they continue to be adulterous.
Hosea 4:16
16 The Israelites are stubborn,
like a stubborn heifer.
How then can the LORD pasture them
like lambs in a meadow?
God wants to provide for us with such tenderness and we just throw His love back in His face.
This part really gets to me, and makes me weep as I grasp the extreme measures taken by God in His desire to have us return to Him.
Hosea 5:12-15
12 I am like a moth to Ephraim,
like rot to the people of Judah.
13 "When Ephraim saw his sickness,
and Judah his sores,
then Ephraim turned to Assyria,
and sent to the great king for help.
But he is not able to cure you,
not able to heal your sores.
14 For I will be like a lion to Ephraim,
like a great lion to Judah.
I will tear them to pieces and go away;
I will carry them off, with no one to rescue them.
until they admit their guilt.
And they will seek my face;
in their misery they will earnestly seek me.
And yet, Israel continued to be unfaithful. But at the end God, out of His HOLINESS and in the face of His WRATH chooses to be merciful. Why? I still cannot understand.
Hosea 11:8-9.
8 "How can I give you up, Ephraim?
How can I hand you over, Israel?
How can I treat you like Admah?
How can I make you like Zeboiim?
My heart is changed within me;
all my compassion is aroused.
9 I will not carry out my fierce anger,
nor will I turn and devastate Ephraim.
For I am God, and not man—
the Holy One among you.
I will not come in wrath.
This passage also makes me think of the U.S.
Hosea 13:15-16
15 even though he thrives among his brothers.
An east wind from the LORD will come,
blowing in from the desert;
his spring will fail
and his well dry up.
His storehouse will be plundered
of all its treasures.
16 The people of Samaria must bear their guilt,
because they have rebelled against their God.
They will fall by the sword;
their little ones will be dashed to the ground,
their pregnant women ripped open."
Hosea 7:13
13 Woe to them,
because they have strayed from me!
Destruction to them,
because they have rebelled against me!
I long to redeem them
but they speak lies against me.
Hosea 8:7
7 "They sow the wind
and reap the whirlwind.
The stalk has no head;
it will produce no flour.
Were it to yield grain,
foreigners would swallow it up.
Hosea 9:7
7 The days of punishment are coming,
the days of reckoning are at hand.
Let Israel know this.
Because your sins are so many
and your hostility so great,
the prophet is considered a fool,
the inspired man a maniac.
Oh God have mercy on us. Do not destroy the righteous with the unrighteous!
I lost about $4,000 of my mutual fund due to the current economic crisis. I withdrew the remainder out of fear of losing it all. It's strange though, even though I know it's a sizable amount of money, I don't really feel as if my circumstances have changed at all. I am still a child of my Heavenly Father, resting in the shadow of His wing within the comfort of His pasture. I would not exchange this wealth for any of the comforts of the world!
Praise be to God, who loves and has mercy on unworthy sinful man!
~ H.M.
November 12, 2008
Bursting from a new "Awakening"
I do not know how to begin to express the transformation that has occurred in my life, which got kicked off during the summer and is now charging full speed ahead. I also do not know where it will take me, or when or where it will end, which I hope it never does!
As the end of my undergraduate study loomed closer, I stressed, sweated and scrambled to find a direction for my life. The pathetic plans I threw up on the drawing board were too forced, spur-of-the-moment, not reflective of true self, and quite frankly - desperate. Included in this mix was my hanging on to a relationship in hopes that it would provide stability and security. I am now so grateful that God forced me to be still for a while longer and seek Him. I decided to return to Venezuela immediately following graduation and spend nearly 3 months investing time in my family and their ministry, but also seeking to know and understand the direction God had in store for my life. All in all it was a productive summer of renewal, self-discovery, and God-pursuing. I read a number of books including My Heart in His Hands (a biographical work on Ann Judson, the first American missionary woman), Stepping Heavenward, Three Steps Forward, Two Steps Back, Discovering God's Will, Dating with Integrity, What Color is Your Parachute, and a good start on the Pursuit of God by A.W. Tozer, which I intend to continue and finish very shortly. During those months, my heart and soul returned to rest while my mind prepared to dive into the most exciting adventure of its young life.
Back in the U.S., after toying with ideas of going to nursing school or studying applied linguistics, I settled down working part-time while trying to decide on a course of action for my future. The ball got rolling through The Truth Project, a series my young adults group from church was going through. My hunger and thirst for an all-encompassing reality of life began to be fed, awakening the dormant intellectual and scholar residing inside. I ate up every single one of the sessions I went to, feverishly taking notes, as I realized how the truth of Christianity and the Gospel was relevant to all spheres of life. While the information presented supplemented the foundational knowledge I already possessed, I realized my repertoire of theology, philosophy, politics and law was quite scant and I eagerly desired to enhance it. The next thing I tackled was Total Truth, an excellent work by Nancy Pearcey that I had sitting around but hadn't gotten around to reading. The subtitle of the book is: Liberating Christianity from its Cultural Captivity. I have been learning the dire importance of a solid biblical/Christian worldview. It has been through reading Total Truth that I feel my eyes have been opened to the universal truth of the gospel, the uttermost authority of God and His word, the complete fatality of any solution not beginning and ending with Christ and what He did on the cross. (Note: this is something I have already grasped in my heart and soul, but it has come full circle by grasping it in my mind, with the delightful realization that Christianity is also intellectually satisfying).
Somewhere along the line, an old repressed desire burst out into the light. I had long debated over the possibility of going to law school, but had firmly shut it out of my mind time and time again because it seemed too far-fetched, too pricey or too hard for me. But with God nothing is impossible! Now more than ever I am convinced of my inability to do anything on my own. But I know that my skills, talents and desires are God-given, including any and all opportunities, and I am equally convinced that He is able to do all things through me if He so desires. I just wish to be His most humble servant. In addition to studying for the Law School Admissions Test (LSAT) and getting everything ready to apply to law schools, my heart, soul and mind have come alive within me as I have never yet experienced. I am hungry to increase my learning, knowledge and understanding of many topics as listed above - law, philosophy, politics and theology. There is so much I still desire to know. I am so grateful to have been lifted out of the pit I was in and thankful that I have a goal to pursue. God has taken me from the miry clay; He has set my feet upon a rock!
What I have managed to put together here is just a scratching on the surface of what's going on inside, but I am on a new schedule where I go to bed at a decent hour and am growing weary at this late hour of 10 p.m.! It is also perhaps more information in one blog post than any normal person would like to read. I will end with some verses that model what's going on or that have encouraged/inspired me in this change in my life.
James 1:2-5 "Consider it pure joy, my brothers, whenever you face trials of many kinds, because you know that the testing of your faith develops perseverance. Perseverance must finish its work so that you may be mature and complete, not lacking anything. If any of you lacks wisdom, he should ask God, who gives generously to all without finding fault, and it will be given to him."
(my theme verse of the year!)
Proverbs 4:7 - "Wisdom is supreme; therefore get wisdom.
Though it cost all you have, get understanding."
Proverbs 19:8 - "He who gets wisdom loves his own soul;
he who cherishes understanding prospers"
Matthew 22:37 - Jesus replied: "'Love the Lord your God with all your heart and with all your soul and with all your mind.'"
Jeremiah 29:13&14a - "You will seek me and find me when you seek me with all your heart. I will be found by you," declares the LORD, "and will bring you back from captivity."
Romans 12:2 - "Do not conform any longer to the pattern of this world, but be transformed by the renewing of your mind. Then you will be able to test and approve what God's will is—his good, pleasing and perfect will."
2 Corinthians 3:5&6 - "Not that we are adequate in ourselves to consider anything as coming from ourselves, but our adequacy is from God, who also made us adequate as servants of a new covenant, not of the letter but of the Spirit; for the letter kills, but the Spirit gives life."
And last but not least, all of 2 Corinthians 5 is great but specifically verses 16-21: "So from now on we regard no one from a worldly point of view. Though we once regarded Christ in this way, we do so no longer. Therefore, if anyone is in Christ, he is a new creation; the old has gone, the new has come! All this is from God, who reconciled us to himself through Christ and gave us the ministry of reconciliation: that God was reconciling the world to himself in Christ, not counting men's sins against them. And he has committed to us the message of reconciliation. We are therefore Christ's ambassadors, as though God were making his appeal through us. We implore you on Christ's behalf: Be reconciled to God. God made him who had no sin to be sin for us, so that in him we might become the righteousness of God.
Thank you for endowing my humble blog with your readership.
~H.M.
Soli Deo gloria!
As the end of my undergraduate study loomed closer, I stressed, sweated and scrambled to find a direction for my life. The pathetic plans I threw up on the drawing board were too forced, spur-of-the-moment, not reflective of true self, and quite frankly - desperate. Included in this mix was my hanging on to a relationship in hopes that it would provide stability and security. I am now so grateful that God forced me to be still for a while longer and seek Him. I decided to return to Venezuela immediately following graduation and spend nearly 3 months investing time in my family and their ministry, but also seeking to know and understand the direction God had in store for my life. All in all it was a productive summer of renewal, self-discovery, and God-pursuing. I read a number of books including My Heart in His Hands (a biographical work on Ann Judson, the first American missionary woman), Stepping Heavenward, Three Steps Forward, Two Steps Back, Discovering God's Will, Dating with Integrity, What Color is Your Parachute, and a good start on the Pursuit of God by A.W. Tozer, which I intend to continue and finish very shortly. During those months, my heart and soul returned to rest while my mind prepared to dive into the most exciting adventure of its young life.
Back in the U.S., after toying with ideas of going to nursing school or studying applied linguistics, I settled down working part-time while trying to decide on a course of action for my future. The ball got rolling through The Truth Project, a series my young adults group from church was going through. My hunger and thirst for an all-encompassing reality of life began to be fed, awakening the dormant intellectual and scholar residing inside. I ate up every single one of the sessions I went to, feverishly taking notes, as I realized how the truth of Christianity and the Gospel was relevant to all spheres of life. While the information presented supplemented the foundational knowledge I already possessed, I realized my repertoire of theology, philosophy, politics and law was quite scant and I eagerly desired to enhance it. The next thing I tackled was Total Truth, an excellent work by Nancy Pearcey that I had sitting around but hadn't gotten around to reading. The subtitle of the book is: Liberating Christianity from its Cultural Captivity. I have been learning the dire importance of a solid biblical/Christian worldview. It has been through reading Total Truth that I feel my eyes have been opened to the universal truth of the gospel, the uttermost authority of God and His word, the complete fatality of any solution not beginning and ending with Christ and what He did on the cross. (Note: this is something I have already grasped in my heart and soul, but it has come full circle by grasping it in my mind, with the delightful realization that Christianity is also intellectually satisfying).
Somewhere along the line, an old repressed desire burst out into the light. I had long debated over the possibility of going to law school, but had firmly shut it out of my mind time and time again because it seemed too far-fetched, too pricey or too hard for me. But with God nothing is impossible! Now more than ever I am convinced of my inability to do anything on my own. But I know that my skills, talents and desires are God-given, including any and all opportunities, and I am equally convinced that He is able to do all things through me if He so desires. I just wish to be His most humble servant. In addition to studying for the Law School Admissions Test (LSAT) and getting everything ready to apply to law schools, my heart, soul and mind have come alive within me as I have never yet experienced. I am hungry to increase my learning, knowledge and understanding of many topics as listed above - law, philosophy, politics and theology. There is so much I still desire to know. I am so grateful to have been lifted out of the pit I was in and thankful that I have a goal to pursue. God has taken me from the miry clay; He has set my feet upon a rock!
What I have managed to put together here is just a scratching on the surface of what's going on inside, but I am on a new schedule where I go to bed at a decent hour and am growing weary at this late hour of 10 p.m.! It is also perhaps more information in one blog post than any normal person would like to read. I will end with some verses that model what's going on or that have encouraged/inspired me in this change in my life.
James 1:2-5 "Consider it pure joy, my brothers, whenever you face trials of many kinds, because you know that the testing of your faith develops perseverance. Perseverance must finish its work so that you may be mature and complete, not lacking anything. If any of you lacks wisdom, he should ask God, who gives generously to all without finding fault, and it will be given to him."
(my theme verse of the year!)
Proverbs 4:7 - "Wisdom is supreme; therefore get wisdom.
Though it cost all you have, get understanding."
Proverbs 19:8 - "He who gets wisdom loves his own soul;
he who cherishes understanding prospers"
Matthew 22:37 - Jesus replied: "'Love the Lord your God with all your heart and with all your soul and with all your mind.'"
Jeremiah 29:13&14a - "You will seek me and find me when you seek me with all your heart. I will be found by you," declares the LORD, "and will bring you back from captivity."
Romans 12:2 - "Do not conform any longer to the pattern of this world, but be transformed by the renewing of your mind. Then you will be able to test and approve what God's will is—his good, pleasing and perfect will."
2 Corinthians 3:5&6 - "Not that we are adequate in ourselves to consider anything as coming from ourselves, but our adequacy is from God, who also made us adequate as servants of a new covenant, not of the letter but of the Spirit; for the letter kills, but the Spirit gives life."
And last but not least, all of 2 Corinthians 5 is great but specifically verses 16-21: "So from now on we regard no one from a worldly point of view. Though we once regarded Christ in this way, we do so no longer. Therefore, if anyone is in Christ, he is a new creation; the old has gone, the new has come! All this is from God, who reconciled us to himself through Christ and gave us the ministry of reconciliation: that God was reconciling the world to himself in Christ, not counting men's sins against them. And he has committed to us the message of reconciliation. We are therefore Christ's ambassadors, as though God were making his appeal through us. We implore you on Christ's behalf: Be reconciled to God. God made him who had no sin to be sin for us, so that in him we might become the righteousness of God.
Thank you for endowing my humble blog with your readership.
~H.M.
Soli Deo gloria!
October 31, 2008
Election worries & Peace from above
Election day is just right around the corner and I have to admit I've been getting a bit too caught up in it all. I've lied awake at night trying to sort everything out and figure out what's going to happen. But I can't control anything at all really. That's probably one of the hardest things to accept. But here are some verses I found in Ecclesiastes:
"I have seen all the things that are done under the sun; all of them are meaningless, a chasing after the wind. What is twisted cannot be straightened; what is lacking cannot be counted." ~ 1:14-15
"I know that everything God does will endure forever; nothing can be added to it and nothing taken from it. God does it so that men will revere him." ~ 3:14
"I saw that all who lived and walked under the sun followed the youth, the king's successor. There was no end to all the people who were before them. But those who came later were not pleased with the successor. This too is meaningless, a chasing after the wind." ~ 4:15-16
"I have seen all the things that are done under the sun; all of them are meaningless, a chasing after the wind. What is twisted cannot be straightened; what is lacking cannot be counted." ~ 1:14-15
"I know that everything God does will endure forever; nothing can be added to it and nothing taken from it. God does it so that men will revere him." ~ 3:14
"I saw that all who lived and walked under the sun followed the youth, the king's successor. There was no end to all the people who were before them. But those who came later were not pleased with the successor. This too is meaningless, a chasing after the wind." ~ 4:15-16
God is the only one in control of our lives and our circumstances. The things that come to pass are allowed in His sovereignty. Whenever there is a storm brewing around us, all God wants us to do is to rest in Him and take the peace He offers us that surpasses all understanding. It is wonderful to go to bed at night knowing that I worship and am known by the Creator of all things, that I may die yet will live forever, that all things will one day be made right.
Soli Deo gloria!
For a better recap of these thoughts, here's a link to John Piper talking about the "most important issues" in the 2008 election. He says "America is not my allegiance, God and Heaven are my allegiance." He's got some good stuff to say, check it out!
July 25, 2008
Inspiration from Anne
DISCLAIMER: if wishy-washy, sentimental, chickflicky stuff turns you off, DON'T READ!
It is 4:30 in the morning, but I must write. I have been "bad" and stayed up in the night watching Anne of Green Gables "The Continuing Story". I just love the story of Anne so much, as if it were real, and truly happened. And I imagine that I am she, and my soul is lifted up far and away. I'm deeply impressed by the author, L.M. Montgomery, who so delicately understood and described the complexity of emotions the heart of a passionate, idealistic young woman can procure.
I'm at a place in my life where loose ends seem to be tying up and my disparities of thought are come to a point. The craziness of my college life is settling down, and a new life is beginning to well up inside. I'm leaving behind my childhood, but not my dreams. I have a vision for how I might spend the rest of my life, and always I shall be writing, if only because it is necessary for my own heart. I don't even know if others will ever care to read my work, but even if what I write lies forever buried beneath a sea of words, articles, books and novels - it will at least carry my voice within it.
It might be weird to say that I have a bit of the spirit of Anne inside me. Indeed it is quite ridiculous. but she has played an important part in who I am now, and yet I feel that I have only been drawn to her because of how deeply her character resonates with my being. It is a treasure to have a better glimpse inside one's own soul, and even more so when it is understood by another. The most significant difference between us both, perhaps, is simply that my innermost desire is for my heavenly Father, my Lord and Savior. I hope that I will always seek my God with the intensity that Anne pursued her ideals and dreams.
It is 4:30 in the morning, but I must write. I have been "bad" and stayed up in the night watching Anne of Green Gables "The Continuing Story". I just love the story of Anne so much, as if it were real, and truly happened. And I imagine that I am she, and my soul is lifted up far and away. I'm deeply impressed by the author, L.M. Montgomery, who so delicately understood and described the complexity of emotions the heart of a passionate, idealistic young woman can procure.
I'm at a place in my life where loose ends seem to be tying up and my disparities of thought are come to a point. The craziness of my college life is settling down, and a new life is beginning to well up inside. I'm leaving behind my childhood, but not my dreams. I have a vision for how I might spend the rest of my life, and always I shall be writing, if only because it is necessary for my own heart. I don't even know if others will ever care to read my work, but even if what I write lies forever buried beneath a sea of words, articles, books and novels - it will at least carry my voice within it.
It might be weird to say that I have a bit of the spirit of Anne inside me. Indeed it is quite ridiculous. but she has played an important part in who I am now, and yet I feel that I have only been drawn to her because of how deeply her character resonates with my being. It is a treasure to have a better glimpse inside one's own soul, and even more so when it is understood by another. The most significant difference between us both, perhaps, is simply that my innermost desire is for my heavenly Father, my Lord and Savior. I hope that I will always seek my God with the intensity that Anne pursued her ideals and dreams.
June 29, 2008
Clinic visit and shopping
On Thursday (three days ago), I went shopping with my mom and sister because my sister needed to buy some jeans. Before we got started we first went to a public clinic in a poor little down called Guanta for me to get a blood test. If I saw such a place in the U.S. I would probably not venture near it, but I have learned to not be phased by certain things in Venezuela. It was free, which was our main reason for going there, and a lady from our church worked there as well who helped us get through with our appointment smoothly and without any hitches. We did have to wait a little while, and amused ourselves by watching all the other people there, mostly women and their children. There was a large waiting room and a smaller one that we sat in. In the bigger room a tiny TV transmitted Winnie the Pooh cartoons, but I looked at the people waiting and none seemed to be watching. There were all just staring vaguely in front of them, quite spaced out.
I hadn't had a blood test in years, so we decided it would probably be a good thing to do. I saw them take a sterile, brand new syringe out of its wrapping and so I stopped worrying about things being unsanitary. After they took my blood I had to wait a little bit longer with my mom and sister in the hallway, and while we were sitting there, a man came walking through with a large quantity of incense in long cardboard boxes, which were strapped together and hanging in front of him from his neck. I wasn't expecting someone to randomly try to sell things to people at a clinic, or at least I'd never seen it before. Before he passed, my mom asked him if he had any kiwi flavored ones left! He had one box left, and so she bought it off of him, for about a dollar, and was very pleased with her purchase.
We then took off for the big downtown area of Puerto La Cruz and spent many long hours traipsing around going to just about EVERY clothing store. My sister is quite particular when it comes to jeans, they have to be a certain style, certain length, color, etc. I amused myself by reading the labels on the clothing, as many of them were terrible translations. Most likely Chinese to English. You would think some of the things would be in Spanish! But I hardly saw any. Here's one of the pictures I took:
I hadn't had a blood test in years, so we decided it would probably be a good thing to do. I saw them take a sterile, brand new syringe out of its wrapping and so I stopped worrying about things being unsanitary. After they took my blood I had to wait a little bit longer with my mom and sister in the hallway, and while we were sitting there, a man came walking through with a large quantity of incense in long cardboard boxes, which were strapped together and hanging in front of him from his neck. I wasn't expecting someone to randomly try to sell things to people at a clinic, or at least I'd never seen it before. Before he passed, my mom asked him if he had any kiwi flavored ones left! He had one box left, and so she bought it off of him, for about a dollar, and was very pleased with her purchase.
We then took off for the big downtown area of Puerto La Cruz and spent many long hours traipsing around going to just about EVERY clothing store. My sister is quite particular when it comes to jeans, they have to be a certain style, certain length, color, etc. I amused myself by reading the labels on the clothing, as many of them were terrible translations. Most likely Chinese to English. You would think some of the things would be in Spanish! But I hardly saw any. Here's one of the pictures I took:
June 25, 2008
The Finer Details of Life in the Tropics
If the title of this post puts you off, I suggest you read no further. But if you are interested then I would like to share with you a few observations and experiences. This was brought on tonight as I was particularly successful in a nightly ritual of mine. It consists of chasing mosquitoes out of my room and killing a satisfactory number of them before settling down for the night. A few always come back any way and I find a new bite about every other morning. (Although once they all ganged up on me for I counted close to 20 bites the next day). I suppose there is the concept of repellent, but the smell would probably keep me awake. However, I believe it is worth trying and I might do just that tonight. But yes, back to my original reason for glee, I was brushing my teeth and saw one of the awful things buzzing around and resolved to get it then and there. I leaped above my bed into the air and managed to squash it in a giant slap, and then came crashing down onto my bed. I would have yelled joyfully right then and there but my mouth was full of tooth paste. Oh the thrills of life that I have been missing in my germ free, pristine Virginia (not truly)!
Then there is the matter of how the floor gets so dirty. My room is in a corner of the house, off by itself, and trafficked only by myself. Yet even so it practically needs to be swept every night! I don't know where all the dirt and things come from. It seems impossible to keep anything clean in this country, where mold, germs and dirt seem to have a mind of their own and spread rapidly in all directions!
And finally, there is the way in which I sleep, or rather make my bed. I learned this trick from my neighbor friends growing up, and actually it is quite common in the ordinary homes of Venezuela. The top sheet is never tucked in at the bottom of the bed, but rather folded up and placed on the pillow, or at the foot of the bed every morning, like one would do with a blanket. Growing up we always made our beds in the typical American, Western fashion, but I have realized the most probable reason for it. It is simply too hot to have one's entire body covered at once! It is best to use the sheet like a little throw, just covering the top part of you, but letting your legs stick out and stay cool. By morning you are quite tangled up in the sheet, I'm afraid, but it is a very entertaining way to sleep. You never know what the sheet will look like when you wake up. If it got a good deal cooler than usual, you will probably be wrapped head to toe like a mummy. Or if you had an especially hot and fretful night it may very well be all balled up on the side of you and not covering you at all! `Personally, I enjoy having my feet stick out, I am much freer to toss and turn peacefully without being constrained! This could also explain why I seem more prone to mosquitoes bites on my legs than other parts of my body...
That is all for now, and I'm off to sleep for tomorrow is coming rather fast. We are getting up early to go to Guanta, where I can hopefully take a blood test for free, and then go shopping in Puerto La Cruz for some jeans for my sister before coming home. It will be a long day, and I doubt we'll be home before 4 p.m. Goodnight friends :)
p.s. May I just add that I love the way Richard Nelson Bolles uses commas, just sort of throwing them in every which way - which I'm quite prone to do! And I must also quickly add that his Parachute book is simply amazing.
Then there is the matter of how the floor gets so dirty. My room is in a corner of the house, off by itself, and trafficked only by myself. Yet even so it practically needs to be swept every night! I don't know where all the dirt and things come from. It seems impossible to keep anything clean in this country, where mold, germs and dirt seem to have a mind of their own and spread rapidly in all directions!
And finally, there is the way in which I sleep, or rather make my bed. I learned this trick from my neighbor friends growing up, and actually it is quite common in the ordinary homes of Venezuela. The top sheet is never tucked in at the bottom of the bed, but rather folded up and placed on the pillow, or at the foot of the bed every morning, like one would do with a blanket. Growing up we always made our beds in the typical American, Western fashion, but I have realized the most probable reason for it. It is simply too hot to have one's entire body covered at once! It is best to use the sheet like a little throw, just covering the top part of you, but letting your legs stick out and stay cool. By morning you are quite tangled up in the sheet, I'm afraid, but it is a very entertaining way to sleep. You never know what the sheet will look like when you wake up. If it got a good deal cooler than usual, you will probably be wrapped head to toe like a mummy. Or if you had an especially hot and fretful night it may very well be all balled up on the side of you and not covering you at all! `Personally, I enjoy having my feet stick out, I am much freer to toss and turn peacefully without being constrained! This could also explain why I seem more prone to mosquitoes bites on my legs than other parts of my body...
That is all for now, and I'm off to sleep for tomorrow is coming rather fast. We are getting up early to go to Guanta, where I can hopefully take a blood test for free, and then go shopping in Puerto La Cruz for some jeans for my sister before coming home. It will be a long day, and I doubt we'll be home before 4 p.m. Goodnight friends :)
p.s. May I just add that I love the way Richard Nelson Bolles uses commas, just sort of throwing them in every which way - which I'm quite prone to do! And I must also quickly add that his Parachute book is simply amazing.
Breaking through my writer's block
Why hello my most dear and sparse cyber audience! I am quite determined to overcome my writer's block, and flush out a number of pieces on topics I haven't yet decided on. I have been in a slump for a while and haven't written anything of consequence lately. As much as I love writing and may show some promise, my style has been diluted and abased by too many research papers that I wrote in college. Hence the many "ands" and run-on sentences here and there. A good dose of Strunk & White would do me wonders I presume.
As far as my writer's block goes, part of it was caused by not having time to think outside the box while finishing up my college years, but also because a writing project was blocking the way. For many years now I've been formulating an idea for a book that I'd like to write, more or less loosely based on my growing up experiences in the coarse and unruly, yet mesmerizing Venezuela. A friend once asked me what I was planning on writing about in my book, and I said "My life of course. You know - growing up in Venezuela." She didn't skip a beat before responding "And what makes you think people would be interested in reading about that?" Ouch. Harsh but true. Unless I'm planning on being wickedly famous one day and in need of a dry, strictly chronological autobiography, my current start on my first book was no more than rubbish. I realized I need to regroup and rethink my strategy, and that I was still lacking in material to write about. I have many memories in tact, but many others have faded altogether and need a good deal of refreshing. All this being said, I am still determined to write my book, it's just a matter of getting started on it. It is my goal to have a chapter of it completed by the time I return to the U.S. in August, if not a bit more than that.
So how was this causing my writer's block? I think that subconsciously I was refusing to write other things before I worked on the book project. But I've realized that I just may need to write about other things to get my writing to start flowing again. I've also been particularly inspired by a high school English teacher of mine, Mr. Geoff Sheehy, who was also my impromptu hostel parent for a semester. I enjoyed all of the written projects I was ever assigned in his class, probably most of all because I knew who was going to be reading them. In his class I felt that my writing was actually going somewhere, it had value, and therefore was worth all the time, effort, and creative sweat that went into it. Years later he read a note I had posted on my Facebook profile, and concerned by my half-hearted confidence in my writings' value sent me a message, urging me to keep writing and to not be dissuaded by the occasional unsatisfactory works I would create. He said he remembered certain papers I had written and I remembered receiving an award from him for showing the most promise as a writer or something along those lines my junior year of high school.
It is enough, to have one person believe, approve, and encourage my struggling forages in the written world to want to press on always, stumbling, failing, and then maybe someday to soar higher than ever expected. Another friend of mine, Joe, has also said he would read my writing, and I said I would read his, which is indeed something to look forward to!
Here I am, very eager to push through the haze in my mind, to overcome my lazy patterns of thinking. There's something wrong with the sentence I just wrote. It must be a run-on, but I can't remember how to fix it. To "The Elements of Style" I must hastily recur. For the moment I'm at an impasse for words, so I will read "The Minister's Black Veil" by Nathanial Hawthorne, since my old prof, Mr. Sheehy himself, mentioned it in his note to me. Maybe I will return and write my thoughts on it. In the mean time, here is a link to his blog, which is both candid and entertaining.
As far as my writer's block goes, part of it was caused by not having time to think outside the box while finishing up my college years, but also because a writing project was blocking the way. For many years now I've been formulating an idea for a book that I'd like to write, more or less loosely based on my growing up experiences in the coarse and unruly, yet mesmerizing Venezuela. A friend once asked me what I was planning on writing about in my book, and I said "My life of course. You know - growing up in Venezuela." She didn't skip a beat before responding "And what makes you think people would be interested in reading about that?" Ouch. Harsh but true. Unless I'm planning on being wickedly famous one day and in need of a dry, strictly chronological autobiography, my current start on my first book was no more than rubbish. I realized I need to regroup and rethink my strategy, and that I was still lacking in material to write about. I have many memories in tact, but many others have faded altogether and need a good deal of refreshing. All this being said, I am still determined to write my book, it's just a matter of getting started on it. It is my goal to have a chapter of it completed by the time I return to the U.S. in August, if not a bit more than that.
So how was this causing my writer's block? I think that subconsciously I was refusing to write other things before I worked on the book project. But I've realized that I just may need to write about other things to get my writing to start flowing again. I've also been particularly inspired by a high school English teacher of mine, Mr. Geoff Sheehy, who was also my impromptu hostel parent for a semester. I enjoyed all of the written projects I was ever assigned in his class, probably most of all because I knew who was going to be reading them. In his class I felt that my writing was actually going somewhere, it had value, and therefore was worth all the time, effort, and creative sweat that went into it. Years later he read a note I had posted on my Facebook profile, and concerned by my half-hearted confidence in my writings' value sent me a message, urging me to keep writing and to not be dissuaded by the occasional unsatisfactory works I would create. He said he remembered certain papers I had written and I remembered receiving an award from him for showing the most promise as a writer or something along those lines my junior year of high school.
It is enough, to have one person believe, approve, and encourage my struggling forages in the written world to want to press on always, stumbling, failing, and then maybe someday to soar higher than ever expected. Another friend of mine, Joe, has also said he would read my writing, and I said I would read his, which is indeed something to look forward to!
Here I am, very eager to push through the haze in my mind, to overcome my lazy patterns of thinking. There's something wrong with the sentence I just wrote. It must be a run-on, but I can't remember how to fix it. To "The Elements of Style" I must hastily recur. For the moment I'm at an impasse for words, so I will read "The Minister's Black Veil" by Nathanial Hawthorne, since my old prof, Mr. Sheehy himself, mentioned it in his note to me. Maybe I will return and write my thoughts on it. In the mean time, here is a link to his blog, which is both candid and entertaining.
June 08, 2008
Isla Puinare
I accompanied my sister on a school outing to an island for their annual beach olympics. I took some pictures of their activities and games, but mostly wandered about the island looking for wildlife to photograph. I will try to select a few of my most favorite ones to put in this post, and then maybe a link to an entire album with all of the pictures in it.
It is bittersweet for me to make this post, as just yesterday, the new lens I had used to take so many pictures of wildlife (Canon 70-300mm IS USM), was broken irreparably and quite by accident. It was a huge blow to my spirit, but I will press on and continue to shoot as best as I can with the kit lens I have left (Sigma 18-55mm).
Cerro El Morro.
The view from Puinare.
Camo Crab.
A Frigate bird and Pelicans.
A Frigate in Flight.
Armed and Ready. Also Carrying Young.
Tropical Mockingbird.
Striped Whiptail Lizard.
Click HERE for an album with all the pics.
It is bittersweet for me to make this post, as just yesterday, the new lens I had used to take so many pictures of wildlife (Canon 70-300mm IS USM), was broken irreparably and quite by accident. It was a huge blow to my spirit, but I will press on and continue to shoot as best as I can with the kit lens I have left (Sigma 18-55mm).
Cerro El Morro.
The view from Puinare.
Camo Crab.
A Frigate bird and Pelicans.
A Frigate in Flight.
Armed and Ready. Also Carrying Young.
Tropical Mockingbird.
Striped Whiptail Lizard.
Click HERE for an album with all the pics.
May 27, 2008
Beautiful Treasures out of the Ashes
I've been dealt a blow in my life to many things, mostly to my pride and my own plans and dreams. But even so soon after I can perceive that I was hindering myself in my relationship to God. I am now freer than ever to sit at His feet and bask in His love and grace. I hope to once again take up the pursuit of Him with all the fervor a body can manage, and yet with steadfastness, and a level head. How sweet it is to be in love with one's Savior!!!
May 13, 2008
How to scare the living daylights out of yourself
When I was out and about today making mental notes of things to write about, I originally intended for this post to be titled: Bushwhacking, oh boy is it rewarding! Or something to that extent. However, as my experience progressed, I came to a rather different conclusion! If you read my story you will find out why.
I set out this afternoon on a run with my new shoes, wanting to break them in and get some badly needed exercise. I was planning on just jogging around some neighborhoods off of North Main street and then be back in a half hour or so. But as my runs typically go, I followed roads that led on out to the outskirts of neighborhoods, closer to the hills and woods that stretch out east of North Main. I got to a dead end of a street with empty grassy lots on all sides waiting for homes to be built on them, and seeing a primitive dirt road going off towards the woods I decided then and there that I needed to do some bushwhacking.
When I first went off the road I headed up over a hill covered in tall grass in the direction of some thick woods that were behind it. I got up to the woods and realized that to get into them I was going to have to push through thick brambles and bushes and all sorts of undergrowth. Eager for an adventure of any kind, I didn't hesitate but made my way through the brambles, occasionally following what looking like deer trails, as there were faint openings between the bushes that were too narrow to have been made by people. In spite of my carefulness, by the end of my venture into the unknown, my legs were covered with merciless scratches - bleeding really in several places. Oh but well worth it! But back to my story, in order to get into the thick of the woods, I had to climb over a very rusted barbwire fence, but that was nothing compared to the thorn bushes! The woods I found looked virtually untouched with a thick canopy overhead blocking out most of the sunlight. I wandered around for a bit picking mushrooms and looking for deer tracks but decided to press on.
I crossed back over the barbwire fence but at a different location. On the other side was some of the thickest undergrowth yet. About 20 feet into the brush and sort of down the sloping hill I found an amazing sight. A pine tree had fallen over, but it's branches had kept it propped up some and the vines that grew over it had made it look almost like a cave, and I knew that this was definitely a place that deer took shelter in, especially in winter. It was like something from Bambi I thought. I crawled inside and was surprised at the amount of room it afforded. It was a good 15 feet deep and about 5 feet wide. The dirt was a bit damp but luckily I didn’t see any weird bugs or snakes. I wish I had had my camera with me because it was pretty sweet looking. At this point I was determined to keep exploring the back country, convinced that I was going to find something even better yet if I didn’t give up. After some time I made my way back over the fence, through the woods, and out of the thick and thorny bushes. I went back to the dirt road I had found originally and followed it for a bit, about 5 min and then made my way off up the hillside again towards a clearing that was sitting low between two other hills.
I hiked all the way to the edge of the clearing, wondering if it would be any good for camping, and then went east up one of the hills. I found some really neat trails through the pine trees and found lots of deer tracks. At the top of the hill the woods got thicker and the brambles were more abundant and I couldn’t decide if I wanted to explore those woods too. I started hearing some noises and I got really still to try and figure it out. It sounded like footfalls, steadily pushing through the brush. SHWUMP! SHWUMP! SHWUMP! My first thoughts were “Oh no! I’m on someone’s property and they’re coming to tell me to buzz off!” I decided to be brave and went all the way up to the top of the ridge in the woods and looked down to try and see where the noise was coming from. I could still hear it, but it seemed to be fading away. Then I saw a bird thrashing around in the bushes making quite a racket, and satisfied myself that it had been the noisemaker. Beyond where the bird was, I saw some big rocks jutting up and walking towards them realized that there was a big ravine in the middle of those woods, although there was no creek running through it. All around the ravine were big rocks jutting up, covered in moss and some had thick tree roots growing over them. It was fascinating, almost like the ruins of an old small castle (I have a vivid imagination, my friends) I climbed all over the rocks and realized that this could possibly be a future secret getaway, to be revisited time and time again! I was thrilled that I had gone as far as I had, and as my blood was still pulsating with a lust for adventure, I kept going through the woods and bushes.
I was heading northeast and away from the dirt road that led back to the outskirts of the neighborhood I had left. I was just sort of aimlessly wandering, thinking about all the things I had seen and wishing that I had my camera along with me. Of course, as I had originally set out for a short run around my neighborhood, there was no way I could have seen this coming. Occasionally I came across wooden stakes driven into the ground with some kind of colored tape or cloth tied to the top, marking off property boundaries I suppose. Some of the stakes driven into the ground were metal, and looked as if they should have a “no trespassing” sign at their tops, but I never saw a single sign that told me to keep out. I started coming across some really interesting terrain, small clearings here and there, rocks, pine trees and sloping hillsides so I just kept going. But then I saw something that made me hesitate. There was a metal stake stuck in the ground, but hanging on it was an old, dirty looking brown jacket of sorts. It suddenly dawned on me that there could be other people out in the woods and they might not be out there just looking for fun like me. It seemed pretty sketchy and my senses all went 100% alert as, like an idiot, I went over to get a closer look. Then I realized that there was a man hiding behind a tree, his body stretched out on the ground as it sloped downwards. As soon as I realized it was a person, I leaned in a little closer to get a better look, but as soon as I saw their head lifting up in my direction, I decided to hightail it out of there!!!
I took off running directly back to where I had come from, feeling like an idiot because I knew I was making tons of noise but figured that it didn’t matter since they obviously were aware of my presence. I kept looking back over my shoulder as my brain kept telling me that it was probably a fugitive of sorts hiding out from the law. I was about a mile back through the way I had come, and as I wanted to be out in the open and safe as quickly as possible, I decided to follow a line of stakes that were headed back in the general direction of the dirt road and ran as fast as I could to the end of the stake line, then across another big grassy clearing and out to the dirt road!! I looked back a few more times but never saw anyone coming after me. I’m pretty glad I never saw the person’s face and looked into their eyes, as I know it would have burned brightly in my mind and haunted me for many nights to come.
I have decided that I’m pretty sure I’ll think twice before I wander off into the woods by myself in the middle of nowhere without telling anyone where I am. I hope to go back to my pretend ruined rock castle in the ravine, but I’ll definitely have to take someone with me! Phew I’m glad my folly didn’t end up being the end of me, but I can’t say that I regret my escapade into the wilderness.
I set out this afternoon on a run with my new shoes, wanting to break them in and get some badly needed exercise. I was planning on just jogging around some neighborhoods off of North Main street and then be back in a half hour or so. But as my runs typically go, I followed roads that led on out to the outskirts of neighborhoods, closer to the hills and woods that stretch out east of North Main. I got to a dead end of a street with empty grassy lots on all sides waiting for homes to be built on them, and seeing a primitive dirt road going off towards the woods I decided then and there that I needed to do some bushwhacking.
When I first went off the road I headed up over a hill covered in tall grass in the direction of some thick woods that were behind it. I got up to the woods and realized that to get into them I was going to have to push through thick brambles and bushes and all sorts of undergrowth. Eager for an adventure of any kind, I didn't hesitate but made my way through the brambles, occasionally following what looking like deer trails, as there were faint openings between the bushes that were too narrow to have been made by people. In spite of my carefulness, by the end of my venture into the unknown, my legs were covered with merciless scratches - bleeding really in several places. Oh but well worth it! But back to my story, in order to get into the thick of the woods, I had to climb over a very rusted barbwire fence, but that was nothing compared to the thorn bushes! The woods I found looked virtually untouched with a thick canopy overhead blocking out most of the sunlight. I wandered around for a bit picking mushrooms and looking for deer tracks but decided to press on.
I crossed back over the barbwire fence but at a different location. On the other side was some of the thickest undergrowth yet. About 20 feet into the brush and sort of down the sloping hill I found an amazing sight. A pine tree had fallen over, but it's branches had kept it propped up some and the vines that grew over it had made it look almost like a cave, and I knew that this was definitely a place that deer took shelter in, especially in winter. It was like something from Bambi I thought. I crawled inside and was surprised at the amount of room it afforded. It was a good 15 feet deep and about 5 feet wide. The dirt was a bit damp but luckily I didn’t see any weird bugs or snakes. I wish I had had my camera with me because it was pretty sweet looking. At this point I was determined to keep exploring the back country, convinced that I was going to find something even better yet if I didn’t give up. After some time I made my way back over the fence, through the woods, and out of the thick and thorny bushes. I went back to the dirt road I had found originally and followed it for a bit, about 5 min and then made my way off up the hillside again towards a clearing that was sitting low between two other hills.
I hiked all the way to the edge of the clearing, wondering if it would be any good for camping, and then went east up one of the hills. I found some really neat trails through the pine trees and found lots of deer tracks. At the top of the hill the woods got thicker and the brambles were more abundant and I couldn’t decide if I wanted to explore those woods too. I started hearing some noises and I got really still to try and figure it out. It sounded like footfalls, steadily pushing through the brush. SHWUMP! SHWUMP! SHWUMP! My first thoughts were “Oh no! I’m on someone’s property and they’re coming to tell me to buzz off!” I decided to be brave and went all the way up to the top of the ridge in the woods and looked down to try and see where the noise was coming from. I could still hear it, but it seemed to be fading away. Then I saw a bird thrashing around in the bushes making quite a racket, and satisfied myself that it had been the noisemaker. Beyond where the bird was, I saw some big rocks jutting up and walking towards them realized that there was a big ravine in the middle of those woods, although there was no creek running through it. All around the ravine were big rocks jutting up, covered in moss and some had thick tree roots growing over them. It was fascinating, almost like the ruins of an old small castle (I have a vivid imagination, my friends) I climbed all over the rocks and realized that this could possibly be a future secret getaway, to be revisited time and time again! I was thrilled that I had gone as far as I had, and as my blood was still pulsating with a lust for adventure, I kept going through the woods and bushes.
I was heading northeast and away from the dirt road that led back to the outskirts of the neighborhood I had left. I was just sort of aimlessly wandering, thinking about all the things I had seen and wishing that I had my camera along with me. Of course, as I had originally set out for a short run around my neighborhood, there was no way I could have seen this coming. Occasionally I came across wooden stakes driven into the ground with some kind of colored tape or cloth tied to the top, marking off property boundaries I suppose. Some of the stakes driven into the ground were metal, and looked as if they should have a “no trespassing” sign at their tops, but I never saw a single sign that told me to keep out. I started coming across some really interesting terrain, small clearings here and there, rocks, pine trees and sloping hillsides so I just kept going. But then I saw something that made me hesitate. There was a metal stake stuck in the ground, but hanging on it was an old, dirty looking brown jacket of sorts. It suddenly dawned on me that there could be other people out in the woods and they might not be out there just looking for fun like me. It seemed pretty sketchy and my senses all went 100% alert as, like an idiot, I went over to get a closer look. Then I realized that there was a man hiding behind a tree, his body stretched out on the ground as it sloped downwards. As soon as I realized it was a person, I leaned in a little closer to get a better look, but as soon as I saw their head lifting up in my direction, I decided to hightail it out of there!!!
I took off running directly back to where I had come from, feeling like an idiot because I knew I was making tons of noise but figured that it didn’t matter since they obviously were aware of my presence. I kept looking back over my shoulder as my brain kept telling me that it was probably a fugitive of sorts hiding out from the law. I was about a mile back through the way I had come, and as I wanted to be out in the open and safe as quickly as possible, I decided to follow a line of stakes that were headed back in the general direction of the dirt road and ran as fast as I could to the end of the stake line, then across another big grassy clearing and out to the dirt road!! I looked back a few more times but never saw anyone coming after me. I’m pretty glad I never saw the person’s face and looked into their eyes, as I know it would have burned brightly in my mind and haunted me for many nights to come.
I have decided that I’m pretty sure I’ll think twice before I wander off into the woods by myself in the middle of nowhere without telling anyone where I am. I hope to go back to my pretend ruined rock castle in the ravine, but I’ll definitely have to take someone with me! Phew I’m glad my folly didn’t end up being the end of me, but I can’t say that I regret my escapade into the wilderness.
April 30, 2008
sucky day
Today I'd like to go through all my pictures and turn each smile into a frown.
Today I'd give anything to keep this spinning world from falling down.
I've tried pretty hard but I guess it's not enough.
It's too hard to get through and the scene is tough.
It doesn't even matter to me that no one cares or even knows - there are so many others that are equally as confused and sad.
I don't know how much longer I can take this. I think the pressure to succeed will be the end of me. Right now I HATE school, HATE good grades, HATE being smart, HATE knowing better, HATE sucking at life, HATE being confused and hurt, HATE feeling alone, HATE that I can't give up.
I don't even know how to survive or where to go from here. SO HELP ME GOD!!!
I'm not sure which I am more excited about: the "accomplishment" of graduating, or the pure joy of getting away from this system!!!
I'll forever be a cynic.
Today I'd give anything to keep this spinning world from falling down.
I've tried pretty hard but I guess it's not enough.
It's too hard to get through and the scene is tough.
It doesn't even matter to me that no one cares or even knows - there are so many others that are equally as confused and sad.
I don't know how much longer I can take this. I think the pressure to succeed will be the end of me. Right now I HATE school, HATE good grades, HATE being smart, HATE knowing better, HATE sucking at life, HATE being confused and hurt, HATE feeling alone, HATE that I can't give up.
I don't even know how to survive or where to go from here. SO HELP ME GOD!!!
I'm not sure which I am more excited about: the "accomplishment" of graduating, or the pure joy of getting away from this system!!!
I'll forever be a cynic.
April 23, 2008
Baseball
I have decided that I want to go to another American baseball game. I've only been to one in my life, and that was a Minnesota Twins game. There was a movie on today, called Little Big League or something, and it wasn't all that great, but it made me miss Minnesota and my friends from last summer. I wish I could go back to Camp Lebanon sometime... Well anyways, yes, I want to go to a baseball game.
April 22, 2008
Getting Closer
There are so many countdowns right now. Most are happy ones, like: countdown until my essays are done, until classes are finished, until graduation is over, until Rockbridge, until I go home! There is a sad one though: countdown until I say goodbye to Phil and don't get to see him all summer :(. After nine straight months in Blacksburg, I'm pretty sure I'm ready for change and ready for a move-on. I can't WAIT to change my surroundings, get to a new climate and settle in for one last stretch living at home in Lecheria. I really hope I get to see a bunch of my friends, especially the ones I've been able to get in touch with recently through facebook!
I have 2 papers to write, and zero motivation or concentration left. How am I going to do it? I've almost given up. Somehow they need to get done though. ARghh. I must really be getting lazyyyy or senioritis is killing me!!
So the plan for now IS to go back to work at Au Bon Pain when I return from Veni. They want me back, which is a good thing I suppose. But I'll have to work as wage staff first, not salaried, so I won't get benefits. Which means I still need to find health insurance. And send out my grad announcements and request a new debit card! Just a few things out of many to do still. And instead I sit here blogging. I went through an old journal today and actually ripped out some pages and threw them away! That was quite liberating. I have about 4 notebook journals and then the posts on this blog. Maybe some day I'll conglomerate them.
I checked out a book from the library that talks about the basics of the nursing practice. I want to read through it before I leave for Venezuela. I started looking at some stuff and my first impression is that it is a very thorough practice that calls for minute precision and zero tolerance for inaccuracy. But that does make sense, considering a human life is potentially in your hands. Well it is 12:15 am and I still need to do some reading. I'm wide awake because I took an extended nap this afternoon. =) I shall read until I fall asleep. Class at 9:30!
I have 2 papers to write, and zero motivation or concentration left. How am I going to do it? I've almost given up. Somehow they need to get done though. ARghh. I must really be getting lazyyyy or senioritis is killing me!!
So the plan for now IS to go back to work at Au Bon Pain when I return from Veni. They want me back, which is a good thing I suppose. But I'll have to work as wage staff first, not salaried, so I won't get benefits. Which means I still need to find health insurance. And send out my grad announcements and request a new debit card! Just a few things out of many to do still. And instead I sit here blogging. I went through an old journal today and actually ripped out some pages and threw them away! That was quite liberating. I have about 4 notebook journals and then the posts on this blog. Maybe some day I'll conglomerate them.
I checked out a book from the library that talks about the basics of the nursing practice. I want to read through it before I leave for Venezuela. I started looking at some stuff and my first impression is that it is a very thorough practice that calls for minute precision and zero tolerance for inaccuracy. But that does make sense, considering a human life is potentially in your hands. Well it is 12:15 am and I still need to do some reading. I'm wide awake because I took an extended nap this afternoon. =) I shall read until I fall asleep. Class at 9:30!
April 19, 2008
So excited!!!
I'm sitting in a dining center on campus, attempting to work on one of three papers that are going to be due soon, but it's so hard to focus! I am so excited about graduating and also about going home to Lecheria! It's all I can think about, and even though I don't know what all the future has in store for me, I sense that there are many adventures yet to come!
Last night at IV's large group meeting, or 180 as we call it, we had two guest speakers, Marshal from Greensboro, NC and Rich Hodge, on staff with YWAM in South Africa. They spoke on our identity in Christ and how our God loves to change our names, giving us new ones that more clearly reflect who we are in him. Rich said, in the name of Jesus, your sins are forgiven! And finally, after a long time struggling with a constant nagging sense of guilt and shame, I really felt my heavy load go away. I've been holding on for so long, but I'm finally ready to step up and be who God has called me to be. It is my earnest desire more than ever now to live a life that is worthy of the calling I have received. I know God has called me to Himself and will not allow any other idols or passions to have precedence in my life, but I do not know the specific, physical details of my life's calling.
I like the way Rich put it: we aren't called to be "missionaries" but we are called to be "priests". Our lives are venues for God to actively do His work. How exciting is that??? The realization of this hit me pretty hard and energized all the fibers in my soul! Ahh but still I must stay grounded and continue to work on my academics. So I will finish my essay on Urbanization, but may add some interesting facts here. :)
Last night at IV's large group meeting, or 180 as we call it, we had two guest speakers, Marshal from Greensboro, NC and Rich Hodge, on staff with YWAM in South Africa. They spoke on our identity in Christ and how our God loves to change our names, giving us new ones that more clearly reflect who we are in him. Rich said, in the name of Jesus, your sins are forgiven! And finally, after a long time struggling with a constant nagging sense of guilt and shame, I really felt my heavy load go away. I've been holding on for so long, but I'm finally ready to step up and be who God has called me to be. It is my earnest desire more than ever now to live a life that is worthy of the calling I have received. I know God has called me to Himself and will not allow any other idols or passions to have precedence in my life, but I do not know the specific, physical details of my life's calling.
I like the way Rich put it: we aren't called to be "missionaries" but we are called to be "priests". Our lives are venues for God to actively do His work. How exciting is that??? The realization of this hit me pretty hard and energized all the fibers in my soul! Ahh but still I must stay grounded and continue to work on my academics. So I will finish my essay on Urbanization, but may add some interesting facts here. :)
- Traffic congestion costs Americans $78 billion a year in wasted fuel and lost time.
- People making long commutes are at a higher risk for high blood pressure, sleep deprivation, and depression. They have more frequent disputes with their co-workers and families. They suffer more frequent and more serious illnesses, and they are more likely to experience premature deaths.
- The
April 16, 2008
Why is it so hard to see the light in the midst of darkness?
I've been wrestling with a lot of emotions and feelings and overall feeling pretty discouraged but I am sure others have very heavy hearts on this day for other reasons that are personal to them. I was calling out to my God for comfort (as I've been reminded these past few days that His love alone is unchanging and He alone is our strength) and the words of a song that I haven't heard in years and years popped up in my head. I couldn't remember what song it was so I had to google the lyrics (yay for google!!) Anyways, the song is Go Light Your World, by Chris Rice. I'm going to post the lyrics here as I hope they may be uplifting or simply comforting to someone else as they have been to me.
Go Light Your World - Chris Rice
There is a candle in every soul
Some brightly burning, some dark and cold
There is a Spirit who brings a fire
Ignites a candle and makes His home
So carry your candle, run to the darkness
Seek out the helpless, confused and torn
Hold out your candle for all to see it
Take your candle, and go light your world
Take your candle, and go light your world
Frustrated brother, see how he's tried to
Light his own candle some other way
See now your sister, she's been robbed and lied to
Still holds a candle without a flame
So Carry your candle, run to the darkness
Seek out the lonely, the tired and worn
Hold out your candle for all to see it
Take your candle, and go light your world
Take your candle, and go light your world
Cause We are a family whose hearts are blazing
So let's raise our candles and light up the sky
Praying to our Father, in the name of Jesus
Make us a beacon in darkest times
So Carry your candle, run to the darkness
Seek out the helpless, deceived and poor
Hold out your candle for all to see it
Take your candle, and go light your world
Carry your candle, run to the darkness
Seek out the hepeless, confused and torn
Hold out your candle for all to see it
Take your candle, and go light your world
Take your candle, and go light your world
Take your candle, and go light your world
Thank you my God, for your infinite love and grace, for the tenderness with which you handle my heart and the gentle way you hold me close.
Go Light Your World - Chris Rice
There is a candle in every soul
Some brightly burning, some dark and cold
There is a Spirit who brings a fire
Ignites a candle and makes His home
So carry your candle, run to the darkness
Seek out the helpless, confused and torn
Hold out your candle for all to see it
Take your candle, and go light your world
Take your candle, and go light your world
Frustrated brother, see how he's tried to
Light his own candle some other way
See now your sister, she's been robbed and lied to
Still holds a candle without a flame
So Carry your candle, run to the darkness
Seek out the lonely, the tired and worn
Hold out your candle for all to see it
Take your candle, and go light your world
Take your candle, and go light your world
Cause We are a family whose hearts are blazing
So let's raise our candles and light up the sky
Praying to our Father, in the name of Jesus
Make us a beacon in darkest times
So Carry your candle, run to the darkness
Seek out the helpless, deceived and poor
Hold out your candle for all to see it
Take your candle, and go light your world
Carry your candle, run to the darkness
Seek out the hepeless, confused and torn
Hold out your candle for all to see it
Take your candle, and go light your world
Take your candle, and go light your world
Take your candle, and go light your world
Thank you my God, for your infinite love and grace, for the tenderness with which you handle my heart and the gentle way you hold me close.
April 08, 2008
In between filing taxes and watching a documentary on the DRC
I've been trying to figure out how to file my taxes, because I've never done it before and of course the deadline is creeping up really fast. I wish I didn't leave so many things until the last minute. Thanks to some tips from Breanna and Phil I just might be able to figure it out! How exciting I know. I'm pretty sure it's not rocket science. But it feels like it at least for now.
Speaking of science, with every passing day I grow more and more certain of my desire/calling to nursing. It all seems pretty crazy to me, but really it's one of the few things I've ever wanted to do, so I'm all for pursuing it with all I have. I hope to have some kind of degree in nursing within 3 years from now. All I've got to do is figure out where to go to school and what prerequisites I need to have and all the while work to live and start loan payments. Sounds like a piece of cake, right? I'm tempted to let myself get overwhelmed by the future and its uncertainties and burdens but every day I hear the Lord bidding me to come and rest in Him. I can trust in His goodness and sovereignty, and mostly his unchangeable love.
With at least a vague shape formulating on the horizon of what the next few years might look like, I still have so many questions and confusion about some things. For instance, I am planning on staying in Blacksburg for at least another year, hoping to find a job, maybe take classes part-time at NRCC and become a certified nursing assistant (CNA). But what's next? I'm so grateful for the opportunity to return to Venezuela for nearly 3 months this summer. I am planning on making the most of it, as it is likely the last time that I will get to live there with my family. But back to Blacksburg, and living in the U.S. for that matter, I'm a missionary kid and I don't really think of anywhere as home. It constantly changes in my mind to the point where I just give up and stop trying to figure it out.
I'm feeling antsy about moving again and I feel as if in a year I will be ready to move on. Where to? Africa is the one place that constantly draws me and tugs at my heart strings. I can't even tell you how many different sites I've looked at on the internet related to either missions or volunteering in Africa. I know enough French that I'm pretty sure I could pick it up were I to go somewhere that they speak this language. I had been really thinking about doing things with the Peace Corps, but that sort of evaporated. But that's fine, because I didn't feel like I had anything very helpful to offer. However, if I am able to become a nurse, then I'll feel better equipped to help and be of use.
But I can't leave the U.S. yet if I am planning on studying nursing!! Hopefully next summer I can take a trip to Africa and do SOMETHING! Maybe visit my friend Liz in the DRC and help with the work she'll be doing. I'd be content to go anywhere in Africa and be put to work! There are so many orphanages that desperately need volunteers.
I also feel that I am at such a weird place in life right now. I'm 22 years old and about to graduate with a 4 yr degree from a University. The world is spiraling around me as the days become more packed with activities and demands and responsibilities. I'm living in America, and personally I still think it's pretty weird. It only seems like a half reality, as my inner imaginings live all around the world but mostly back in Venezuela. So many people have come in and out of my life and I know that will just keep happening. I sometimes wonder how you can even try to keep in touch with all of them, and if you decide to just stay in touch with some, how do you choose which ones? This I haven't quite figured out yet.
Well I'll have to get back to filing my taxes. I think I may be getting the hang of it and surely they can't be too difficult, but somehow by dragging it out it seems a little less painful.
Speaking of science, with every passing day I grow more and more certain of my desire/calling to nursing. It all seems pretty crazy to me, but really it's one of the few things I've ever wanted to do, so I'm all for pursuing it with all I have. I hope to have some kind of degree in nursing within 3 years from now. All I've got to do is figure out where to go to school and what prerequisites I need to have and all the while work to live and start loan payments. Sounds like a piece of cake, right? I'm tempted to let myself get overwhelmed by the future and its uncertainties and burdens but every day I hear the Lord bidding me to come and rest in Him. I can trust in His goodness and sovereignty, and mostly his unchangeable love.
With at least a vague shape formulating on the horizon of what the next few years might look like, I still have so many questions and confusion about some things. For instance, I am planning on staying in Blacksburg for at least another year, hoping to find a job, maybe take classes part-time at NRCC and become a certified nursing assistant (CNA). But what's next? I'm so grateful for the opportunity to return to Venezuela for nearly 3 months this summer. I am planning on making the most of it, as it is likely the last time that I will get to live there with my family. But back to Blacksburg, and living in the U.S. for that matter, I'm a missionary kid and I don't really think of anywhere as home. It constantly changes in my mind to the point where I just give up and stop trying to figure it out.
I'm feeling antsy about moving again and I feel as if in a year I will be ready to move on. Where to? Africa is the one place that constantly draws me and tugs at my heart strings. I can't even tell you how many different sites I've looked at on the internet related to either missions or volunteering in Africa. I know enough French that I'm pretty sure I could pick it up were I to go somewhere that they speak this language. I had been really thinking about doing things with the Peace Corps, but that sort of evaporated. But that's fine, because I didn't feel like I had anything very helpful to offer. However, if I am able to become a nurse, then I'll feel better equipped to help and be of use.
But I can't leave the U.S. yet if I am planning on studying nursing!! Hopefully next summer I can take a trip to Africa and do SOMETHING! Maybe visit my friend Liz in the DRC and help with the work she'll be doing. I'd be content to go anywhere in Africa and be put to work! There are so many orphanages that desperately need volunteers.
I also feel that I am at such a weird place in life right now. I'm 22 years old and about to graduate with a 4 yr degree from a University. The world is spiraling around me as the days become more packed with activities and demands and responsibilities. I'm living in America, and personally I still think it's pretty weird. It only seems like a half reality, as my inner imaginings live all around the world but mostly back in Venezuela. So many people have come in and out of my life and I know that will just keep happening. I sometimes wonder how you can even try to keep in touch with all of them, and if you decide to just stay in touch with some, how do you choose which ones? This I haven't quite figured out yet.
Well I'll have to get back to filing my taxes. I think I may be getting the hang of it and surely they can't be too difficult, but somehow by dragging it out it seems a little less painful.
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