It’s time to leave

Wow. Incredible. I am currently at the end of my time in Korea. Don’t know if I said this before or not, but it really feels surreal. In some ways it feels like it was forever ago that I came here, but in many more ways it feels like it was just yesterday. This year has been full of challenges and joys and I’m grateful for all I’ve learned.

This week I taught my final kindergarten and elementary classes. I watched my precious kinder students graduate and move up to first grade! I said some tearful goodbyes to students and co-workers. And once more I’m all packed up and ready to move. Transition, transition – it never seems to end. I think I will always feel like a stranger and traveler in this world. In the midst of uncertainty and new beginnings, I am thankful for the reminder of just how transient this life is, and how I’ll never be completely at home until I am with Christ in glory.

I’ve been pretty busy lately and under a fair amount of emotional/mental stress. I think it’s got me feeling a bit like a broken record. I can’t fully process everything because so much has been happening. But I am looking forward to some time of renewal and recuperation. There is a lot of change in my life right now, but I know it’s going to be ok. I am excited for the future and I look forward to continuing on the path set before me.

Tomorrow I will move out of my apartment and travel out to the area near the Incheon Airport. I’ll stay at a hotel for my last night and be on my way to Spain the next day! I am so happy to be seeing my parents again very soon and getting to explore some more of Spain and Europe. Life is great and I’m so thankful for mine.

Grace, Daisy and Amanda on the morning of our last field trip.

My co-teacher, Amy, and I

Sally, Amy and Grace after their graduation!!

A new year and more countdowns

This year has started off in a flurry of activity. January flew by much more quickly than I thought it would and now I find myself facing a mere 21 days left in Korea. I can hardly believe it! A year ago I was getting psyched up to plunge into the great unknown and now I am preparing to leave the place that has become my home.

I’ve been pretty busy with my job and and church/bible study on the weekends, but I’m also trying to do last minute things in Korea and make sure I see all my friends at least one more time to say goodbye. In January, I had the joy of attending the wedding of one of my best friend’s here in Korea, Leanne. This first week of February I had 3 days off from teaching, so I took advantage of the vacation by going with some friends to a ski resort about 3 hours away from Seoul. I only skied for a couple hours, however. The rest of the time I just enjoyed the beautiful scenery, the fresh air and the good company of two girl friends – or napped!

I’m really looking forward to the next phase of my life, whatever it will hold. At the same time, it’s very bitter sweet to be facing the reality that I will have to say my goodbyes to 9 little students that have become the center of my universe. I love their adorable, spunky, crazy selves to death. It’s hard to think of when I’ve faced a more difficult goodbye! On February 27th I’ll say a final goodbye to Korea and hop on a plane for Madrid. I expect to return to the U.S. sometime in April. I can hardly wait!!!

For now I’ll leave you with some recent photos with my students and also of my trip to the ski resort.

Amy, Sally, Amanda & Kelly

Here the kids are making pasta jewelry for art class

Some views at the resort

Counting the Days

There are just 18 days till Christmas. And yes I’m counting. But actually, I’ve been counting down the days since September. Really. Shortly after purchasing my plane ticket for Spain, I installed a desktop widget/gadget thing on my computer that is ticking down the days, hours, minutes and seconds until Christmas. Well, not Christmas exactly, but rather the approximate time of day that I will get to see my family and Jonathan again. Never before have I so eagerly and earnestly looked forward to a time of seeing loved ones.

Strangely enough, as the time remaining is quickly dwindling, I’m finding it even harder to patiently pass the time I’ve left to wait. Why am I so impatient? Why do I yearn for something so badly it almost feels like my heart is breaking? Where is my tough girl persona, the Miss Independent spirit who can stick out all things, weather all storms? Again, I can’t remember ever before craving so badly the company of loved ones. And yet as eager and excited as I am, I’m also feeling a twinge of dread, knowing that after a short and sweet jet lagged week I’ll have to pack myself off again for another two months back in Korea. It is really difficult to be alone in the world.

I understand that people move and lives change and things are never the same. I know that we often must make do with new circumstances and settle down in new environments. But why do so unless absolutely necessary? Why give up even a moment of time that can be spent with family and dear ones to do anything else? I’ve had to come to terms with some deep emotional feelings I’ve experienced since being here. In spite of living in a bustling city, I’ve been struggling with extreme feelings of loneliness. And while certain individuals from my church have really reached out to show me love, my efforts to plug into any sort of semi-permanent, consistent community have been in vain. I am rather starved for affection and for the companionship of people who know me intimately. To surmise, I will definitely, seriously deliberate very carefully before ever venturing off by my lonesome to the far ends of the world.

Undoubtedly, I will remain in this country up to the completion of my contract. And I will always hold tenderly my memories of my interactions with my dear little students. Indeed I will miss them greatly, and the pain of leaving them will be something fierce. I get tears in my eyes just thinking about it. But I am comforted in knowing that they belong to decent families who love and care for them and want to offer them the best opportunities at their disposal.

On a different note, this whole experience (of being far from any family and virtually alone) has for some reason gotten me thinking about orphans and their enormous need for love and acceptance. I am very fortunate to have a family to visit and spend time with and the means to reach them. At this moment, the number of orphans in the world is at a number roughly equal to half the population of the United States. Recognizing my own felt need to be loved and be in close relationship with others, I can’t help but feel deep compassion for all those little children who are much more alone in this world than I am.