Poems

Had to write some poems for class. Just thought I'd post them.

Things that Matter, From God to Mathers

Listen to me son:
I know you think I hate you
But I’ve been lovin’ on you
Since before the day I made you.

There’s method to your rhyme
That your writing on the dotted line
It’s my design to help you define
All the pain and shame that surrounds you.

I know your father didn’t bother
To be there for you
And that your mother messed up
But it was me holding your head up
When you were crying in the dark
In the trailer park when the days were long
And all you had was your song.

I know the way races discriminate
As they disseminate their resolve to hate
And life hits you in the face
And makes you bleed
But my own son shed blood to bring you home
To me.

I know you’re a soldier to Hailie
But your baby’s gotta know me.
Could you see if you got time to rap a song about me?
I gave her to you to fill the hole
That is eating your soul
While I wait for you to turn to me.

It’s not too late you don’t have to fake
That you’re fine when you’re really
Dying inside.

I love you son.

Gate Garbage Sweat Shells

Missionary boarding school near
Colombian border
Compounded fence opens as gate swings out
And we trudge past the cows that graze in the streets
And stare at us and “moo” at cars trying to get through.

Time for the monthly project of picking up
Trash in the neighborhood where our dorm
Is the highest building standing two stories.

Vast expanse of blue tacked with limp
clouds
Interrupted only by the Andes
which blur purple into the western sky.

Sweat trickles down and soaks shirt as
I trudge with big plastic bags that
Stick to my legs when I let them hang.

The grit and dust in my toes like me
To step in the cool grass that shades feet
As I snatch up broken bottles and crumpled
Paper and faded chip bags to add
To my rubbish sack.

The sun spits smells out of the bushes
That wrinkle my nose into a funny face.
Some plants seem to leak bug juice.

A glance to see that others too forage for debris.
Step in deeper to grab the last crumpled bag and
Stop.

Smooth cold hard brass rolls into my open palm
Shells Shot Gun. Guerillas?
Across the street from the school.
There’s been talk.

Camping trips to surrounding forests canceled because of the infiltrators.
They have been here. They are here.
Soon, the missionary boarding school will close
And all its citizens shipped off to safer places
Where the sky no longer stretches into mountains
And neither do the cows share paths.

Well, I miss the journaling days. I said before that it was weird to get to know people through cyberspace, but that seems to be how the world is working nowadays. So, what have I been up to...

Hmmm...classes, working at D2 finally (it can actually be entertaining and interesting as long as you aren't in dishwash), and enjoying hanging out with my friends. I've started leading a bible study as well, and that is a lot of fun to be a part of. I'm coming down with some kind of sickness, but I hope it's not something that a little more sleep won't take care of. It looks like this summer I'll be going back to the camp I was at last summer as a overnight camp counselor. I'm really really really extremely excited and looking forward to that. Everytime I've been at that camp has been AMAZING, and so I have no reason to expect anything less this summer. The reason it's been so awesome is because God does the work, the people who go just have to be willing to let God use them. As Oswald Chambers said in My Utmost for His Highest: "God doesn't call the equipped, but he equips the called".

I wish I could invent a new word to describe God, because awesome is over-used and used in all kinds of daily situations. I am a culprit of abusing that word. But still, I guess the best way I can describe God and what he does as being indescribably awesome.

Ok, so this is probably a very boring post and people will think, "hm...ok yeah I don't know why i wasted time skimming this". Well that's ok. I just wanted to get into the spirit of blogging once again. I now shall get to work on my spanish reading and other homework. Oh and by the way, winter conference is this weekend!!! LIKE HECK YES it's going to ROCK. That's why the place is called Rockbridge. It's like a place where bridges span between friends so they can grow closer to eachother and also between us and God. And that whole process rocks. So yeah, Rockbridge. (Insert extreme cheese smiley). I NEED this time away, a chance to retreat into serenity and fellowship. Even thought my professors all decided to pile on the work load for the weekend. Ehhh. School certainly isn't everything. *happy sigh* If it was, i don't think I'd survive college.

(I posted this for Amy, my roommate, who wants to know more about what goes through my head ). So yeah here are just random things I think about and write down occasionally.

I have found that I write the best when I choose to write in lieu of other responsibilities. There is always such an incentive to procrastinate that when I do my writing is all the more enhanced. Like now, for instance, I’m pitter-pattering about on this page when I should be preparing a speech or finishing up an outline. I pursue life in this manner, a virtual flip-flop. It’s as if I’m walking forward with my clothes on backwards. But if I weren’t making order in this chaotic manner, my life would be rather dull I’ll venture. So here I am, scribbling and writing nonsense to no one in particular while duty is tiring of knocking on my door.

Would you think that I know, fellow college student, what goes through your head? Do you know how much I actually know about you? I know that walking is the best time for you to organize your thoughts, outline your papers, and prepare your speeches. With each step on the pavement a new thought sinks into place and “clicks” in your head. “Oh and yes,” you think, “I need to see my advisor about such and such a thing.” There are so many annoying details and prerequisites in your department and the staff doesn’t seem very helpful and it frustrates you. And as you walk through your college campus either soaking in your favorite latest tune through your ipod, or problem-solving your next class assignment or thinking about that special someone, you are so involved and absorbed in thought that maybe your friend walks by and might say “hello” and you don’t even realize it until they’ve past you and you think suddenly “oh wait someone just said ‘hello’” and you are embarrassed for not noticing. And yet thoughts mesh and clash and fade until suddenly you don’t remember the important thing you were trying to think about and as you get that whiff of food passing the dining hall you can’t resist. So you go in to eat and all your organizing of tomorrow’s paper simply is no more. Oh and there is so and so. “Hey Tom” you call out. “I’m doing good today, how about you?” As you see, I know precisely what you think about, for I am a college student myself, one and the same, for seemingly too many years of my life.