(I posted this for Amy, my roommate, who wants to know more about what goes through my head ). So yeah here are just random things I think about and write down occasionally.

I have found that I write the best when I choose to write in lieu of other responsibilities. There is always such an incentive to procrastinate that when I do my writing is all the more enhanced. Like now, for instance, I’m pitter-pattering about on this page when I should be preparing a speech or finishing up an outline. I pursue life in this manner, a virtual flip-flop. It’s as if I’m walking forward with my clothes on backwards. But if I weren’t making order in this chaotic manner, my life would be rather dull I’ll venture. So here I am, scribbling and writing nonsense to no one in particular while duty is tiring of knocking on my door.

Would you think that I know, fellow college student, what goes through your head? Do you know how much I actually know about you? I know that walking is the best time for you to organize your thoughts, outline your papers, and prepare your speeches. With each step on the pavement a new thought sinks into place and “clicks” in your head. “Oh and yes,” you think, “I need to see my advisor about such and such a thing.” There are so many annoying details and prerequisites in your department and the staff doesn’t seem very helpful and it frustrates you. And as you walk through your college campus either soaking in your favorite latest tune through your ipod, or problem-solving your next class assignment or thinking about that special someone, you are so involved and absorbed in thought that maybe your friend walks by and might say “hello” and you don’t even realize it until they’ve past you and you think suddenly “oh wait someone just said ‘hello’” and you are embarrassed for not noticing. And yet thoughts mesh and clash and fade until suddenly you don’t remember the important thing you were trying to think about and as you get that whiff of food passing the dining hall you can’t resist. So you go in to eat and all your organizing of tomorrow’s paper simply is no more. Oh and there is so and so. “Hey Tom” you call out. “I’m doing good today, how about you?” As you see, I know precisely what you think about, for I am a college student myself, one and the same, for seemingly too many years of my life.

Wow in a FLASH summer has past and school is going full blast. Where did time go?

After working all summer at a camp in New York I'm back at school to continue my studies. It has been wonderful to see friends again and catch up. Since I had a lame-o schedule after last semester's course request, I've been in a frenzy all week adding and dropping classes and trying to find the best ones that will work for me and my major/minor! I have printed out what I thought was my final schedule about 10 times. Even last night, the fourth day of classes, I dropped two classes and replaced them with two others! It's been crazy but I hope, desperately hope, that that is the end of my class switching. Now I have to catch up in my classes because I am a week behind in two of them: Public Speaking and Early Peninsular Culture & Lit.

Other than that, I do have a wonderful roommate, Amy. My fourth Asian roomie! Yay!!! Well that's all the time I can spare for now. I've got to get back to my busy life schedule. Good luck to all of you on this new semester!!

*peace out*

Last Post of the Semester and academic year 04-05!

Hello dear xanga buddies and others who just read people's xanga sites.

This semester is quickly drawing to a close and in the midst of all the hustle and bustle I've decided to take a moment and dedicate a little time to this entry because it will probably be the last one of the summer and maybe my last one ever. I don't know if xanga sites are a good thing or not because they can take up a lot of time. Anyways, I prefer to get to know people in person than by reading their "blogs" so I realized it's kind of weird to get to know each other through cyberspace. But then I do like having somewhere to voice my thoughts and maybe put out a lame poem or two and some of my latest fav. digital photos. Maybe I'll keep the site. Well I know I won't pay for Premium anymore. Hm, ok with all this "business-like" boring stuff out of the way, I'll get down to something worth mentioning.

This academic year has been wonderful. Coming to college was a huge step in my life (obviously) and probably for most other freshmen here. I was scared in the beginning but now I'm beginning to agree with what many of the older people I look up to have told me: that college years are definitely some of the best of your life. I've made a decent-sized handful of truly good friends that have blessed me in so many ways. And then there are many other lovely acquaintances of mine that I'm looking forward to getting to know better in the years to come! So, what have I learned? How have I changed? I think I've changed. I hope so. Here are a couple things:

1. I've learned that God is faithful. A lot of times we want and expect God to be faithful in the big things of our lives, like finding a job or picking the best major/career for us. While He is faithful in these things in His timing, He is also faithful in the little things on a day to day basis that I think we overlook a lot of times. He gets us through each day, giving us the strength to carry on and teaching us little lessons about what is truly meaningful in life. His faithfulness is so great. It's as real as the fact that every morning we wake up and there is a new, unblemished day ahead of us that God has given us to glorify Him. And we can go forth with hope and gladness because we KNOW that he has an exciting future planned out for us.

2. I've learned that academics or pursuing my major is not the most important thing. Before those things is my relationship with the Lord, and after that my relationship with friends. Because these are the only things that we take with us from this earth.

3. As some of you probably know, I've struggled quite a bit with my identity. It has been ridiculously confusing for me to figure out who I am, where I should claim my heritage from, what culture I belong to, and also what country I wish to spend the rest of my life in. My life is a mixture of Venezuela and America melded together and I've realized that I'll never be one or the other. While presently I feel much more closely tied to the Venezuelan culture because it was my home for 15 years, with time I may find myself identifying more with Americans and speakers of my first and best language, English. But lately I've finally realized what my true identity will always be. I am identified with Christ and with the body of believers on this earth. I am forever marked and sealed with the Holy Spirit. When God pointed this out to me, I joyfully accepted that fact because now I have something to fall back on, a heritage that will last forever and one that I am intricately and so graciously woven into.

4. This one kind of goes along with appreciating God's faithfulness. I used to have many insecurities that caused me to be pessimistic about everything, relationships with other people and also the possibility that anything could turn out right and ok! I used to think most things were impossible, because either I wasn't a good or cool enough person to be able to do something well, or that something would go wrong and ruin it. It's really a horrible outlook to have on life, and after a while your friends always think of you as a bitter and cynical person. And I was. I have switched schools and locations so many times in my life that I lost count. I got used to people going in and out of my life and sort of came to the acceptance of a false belief that eventually, everyone you know will at some point leave your life. With this pessimistic outlook on life, I wasn't leaving any room for God's blessings and planning. But along with learning more about God's faithfulness this year, (starting off with giving me a wonderful roommate), I've learned to trust Him. When we cast our fears and cares on Him without holding back, and trust that no matter what everything will work out for our good and for His glory, peace begins to spread more and more into all the spheres of your life. God truly is good all the time. When I can see more of the Big Picture and let go of my bitter, pessimistic tendencies, my life in the now becomes more richly colored, and the insecurities and fears that used to darken my thoughts fade into spots of sunshine of God's goodness.

This summer I'll be working at Sacandaga Bible Conference in Broadalbin, NY (about 1 hr north of Albany). I have wanted to go back ever since I worked there as a housekeeper with my good friend Christy 3 years ago. It is any amazing Christian camp that has been a part of me growing up, and a part of my parents' life before me, and I have seen how God has worked in wonderful ways in the lives of the kids who go there, including one of my dear young cousins. It is set in the beautiful Adirondacks on the shore of Sacandaga Lake. I will be a camp counselor for 10-15 yr old girls and I can't wait to get started!

Before that awesome job, however, I will be going to Christina's house and visiting Elise and then going to Rockbridge!!! WOohoO! There is also another wickedlysweet, totalyawesome, superfantastic trip planned that is too cool to describe presently. But in summation, the future, at least for the summer, looks especially bright and I'm very excited to discover all the treasures God has in store for me.

To all my friends, I wish you the best for your summers (although I can't see how they can compete with mine! jk). I hope that whatever you end up doing that you will have a great time and get refreshed and come back all rejuvenated to start off the next academic year with a bang. It's been lovely shovely (phrase borrowed from my dear grandpa) getting to know you all. You are the sunshines and flowers of my life. I love you a million red M&M's . And a big THANKS to all who gave me their gift of friendship this year.

Well I guess that's about it. A nice long post with (shock shock), no pictures! I've been too busy to take any new ones!!!

signing off now,

Heather (the girl of no nicknames)

*peace out*

Wow, weekends sure can be long, especially when you pack so much stuff into them. I won't go into excrutiatingly boring details about my weekend, but just comment that it was great over all. I will say though, that my ultimate frisbee team played their 5th and last game of the season. We were in the semi-finals and lost by one point. It was dissapointing but we know we played really well and over all did a top-notch job! Hurray for the I.V. Frequent Flyers! I'm so glad I joined the team. On another note, what is up with the freezing weather and snow! Even someone from Venezuela knows that when you are getting close to May it should be warm! Now I have windburn on my face and legs from playing ultimate in the cold, freezing wind. At least the cold can't last.

This semester just flew by. It's crazy how quickly time goes by. I don't want the semester to end, because it means saying good bye to dear friends, and more transitions. But I guess that's just life and at least we can rest at ease, knowing that God is in control over all things. The calm in the middle of the storm. I watched Garden State today. It helped wake me up and realize that I'm alive and that every moment matters. Every second that ticks away on the clock is a part of life. I really hope I don't waste my life. Maybe some how going to college helps you prevent wasting your life. Haha, in theory at least. Guess I'll know someday.

outside Newman Library Amor en Primavera Oh delicious spring now mirrored in my heart By a delicate blossom beginning to open slowly; Each individual petal carefully unraveling itself From the bud that has been heavily guarded till now. Awakened from its heavy sleep, this young flower Turns her face to the sky, hopeful and expectant. Love has untied the iron knot binding the blossom. Not nearly in full bloom but well on it's way, This love is being nurtured in my heart. But this sleeping beauty finally come to life will lie still in her elegant crystal coffin, Unless her handsome young prince shall come to break the charm with true love's first kiss.

I've been reminiscing looking at old pictures that I have. My life has changed so very much in just a couple of years: I went from being home schooled, to attending a private Venezuelan school, to attending middle school in the U.S. of A., to boarding school, to an international secular school, to finally an international Christian school where I lived in a hostel, and now college way up here in Virginia! So many people went in and out of my life, it's weird to look back. The older memories are starting to fade, but I hope I never forget. I decided to put up some pictures of me as a kid and in my earlier teen years, since most of the friends I have now have only known me for less than a year. Wow, my little sister has grown up soo much since these pictures, and Ben too. I believe I have as well . Ok, now time for pictures:

Here I am with my family, posing on our lunch break during one of the many workteam visits we got when I was growing up. They came to help us out with construction for the Camp Chuparipal, which my Dad directed in Eastern Venezuela. We lived in that area for 10 years. I was a serious tomboy then .

My little sister, Melissa, and I had just finished putting together a puzzle when this picture was taken. I was thirteen or fourteen.

Melissa has always been a drama queen. So I did my part of dressing her up and doing her make-up.

Fourteen years old at my 8th grade graduation.

These were some of my best buds from boarding school, Christy and Lisseth. We were in 9th grade in this picture. Christy actually came to visit me here at Tech last semester. She's in Hawaii now and I really miss her!!!

Christy and I, at the top of Mt. Baldy. Well at least thats what we called it because it was flat on top, like the head of an old, bald man. I never knew what it was really called. Below us lies Rubio, a town in the foothills of the Andes where our boarding school was, right on the border of Colombia.

Ahhh, the curly hair! It's always been there . These girls, Christina and Milena, were the only girls who were nice to me at the one school I went to . But anyways, I actually ran into them over Christmas break! They were at the airport, flying back home to Venezuela to visit their families, just like me .

Here I am with Melissa, and a friend I've been close to since I was three, Sairis. Even though we moved 5 hrs away from where she lived, we still got together quite often. In this picture we were pouring over our favorite teen magazine at the time called TU.

Ben, Melissa and I are at a mall on the Island of Margarita, which is off the coast of Venezuela. We used to go there a lot for Christmas vacation, but lately we've decided to go the more rustic way, and camp way down south in the jungle . This was about 3-4 years ago.

I guess that's about it, a revised compact edition of my early teen years. Fun, awesome times, where I was still naive and didn't even think about college .

Hooray! It's SPRINGTIME! My first spring in 13 years.

This is probably the longest I've gone without putting up a new entry. Almost a week!

So... last week, thursday actually because I didn't have class that day , I was lazy and spent a lot of time outside walking around or chilling with friends and not really doing much work . During that extended period of relaxation and enjoying of the weather, I morphed into being one of my favorite things, a little shutter bug . I found new and exciting things to come up to and clic at. I think the daffodils are tired of me coming up in their faces. They want more space they told me . N...E...ways, here a few results of my photographic romp around campus and the burg. Hope you enjoy them!

1. Budding red trees spanned across Miles

2. The first white and yellow daffodils that I've ever seen

From the top

Close up

2. Happy cheerful flowers that wish they could break free and skip into the wind!

3. Another lovely bloom that I'm sure Amy or Emmy could help me identify! I go by these on the way to Owens from WAJ and they smell delightful.

4. Walking towards War Memorial

4. Looking up from War Memorial

5. Sun going down thru D2

OK. Thats all for this week. I need to get to class.

Y'all take care and don't slack off like me for the remainder of the semester!

ps. love to my emmy. i'm gonna miss ya

Around Valentine's Day, I put up a picture of my beanie baby duck and said that she was lonely. My nine-year-old triplets cousins (2 girls, 1 boy) saw the picture when I visited them over spring break and they thought the ducky really looked lonely. A couple hours later, Stephen came up to me with his hands behind his back and said: "Here Heather, now your ducky won't be lonely anymore." And he pulled out a penguin beanie baby and gave it to me! So, because of my little cousin's sensitive, sweet heart, my little duck isn't lonely anymore. It was too cute, and they all made me promise I'd take a picture of Gracie (the lonely duck's real name) and Waddle (the penguin). I set Waddle and Gracie up in my own personal studio and took a few shots. Here is the winner:

Spring break....interesting although I'm not so sure about it being "fun" over all. But thats ok. Life isn't all about having fun. The high-light was SKIING although I'm amazed I didn't kill myself because I was trying black diamond slopes by the end of the day. I hadn't skiied in about 12 yrs though, and the next day i was sooo sore that I could barely walk/sit down/sit up! No kidding around here, this is the honest truth! Other than that, I got to see two sets of aunts, uncles, and cousins, and visit my roomie's hometown (Allentown). That was neat to see where she grew up and meet her friends and family. :) Now its back to school again. Time flies by so quickly, it slips through my fingers like sand. Hopefully I will rise to the occasion, seize the moments and make the best of the rest of this semester.

Sorry I know this is in Spanish but as far as I know no one really looks at this site except for a couple friends and my family. Lol

Cónchale, el tiempo pasa tan rápido. Meli, me enseñaste todas esas fotos del campamento y todos se veí­an tan diferente. Me duele profundamente en el corazón que estas allá y yo aquí­. De veras que si tuviera la opción de vivar allá o aquí­, yo escogería allá!! Quiero a Venezuela y a todos mis panas carupaneros. Se que un dí­a voy a regresar y vivir allá o aunque sea en el Puerto. Espero que comprendiste lo q te escribí anoche por chat. Que te valla bien en tus exámenes. Bueno, manita te quiero muuuuuchote. Cuídate.

Venezuela, te quiero y no puedo vivir lejos de ti. No te preocupes. Pronto volveré. Si no moriré! jaja, se que exagero un poco pero bueno. Que Dios bendiga a mi patria querida y que todos mis hermanos en Cristo siguen la lucha con fervor. Anhelo con todo mi ser volver una ves pa campamento Chuparipal a ver todos mis amigos y disfrutar de la companía que solo se aya allá. Bueno es todo por hoy. Estoy sumamente entristecida porque quiero volver a Venezuela!!!!

Translation: I'm going through serious withdrawal. (From what, you might ask). From my dear country, home, and friends. And there's absolutely nothing that can make me feel any better or help assuage the pain. So don't worry about me. It can't be helped.

I miss the ocean back home alot. I'll try to pay it tribute with this poem.

I just dream about the day I'll be able to get back home and hit the beach. When I was home for Christmas I was there every chance I got.

Today I'm going to VMI with the lovely ladies: Emily, Amy, and Kristen. Vanna set us up with nice boys from the military academy . So that means we are going to get all dressed up and be treated like queens! What could be better?

Oh and lastly, it's nice to have friends who will still be your friends even when you've been a wet blanket for a while. (Yes Emily, "wet blanket" is a valid expression!) I'm so thankful for those friends.